No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
