just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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