I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
