well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
