You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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