I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
