then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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