Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just want to make out with him forever
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
