Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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