Barsexuality is the new black.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
there is glitter all over my balls
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
