Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
