I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
