Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
