Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
