We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
