Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
