I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
