If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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