I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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