It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
