everyone is single if you try hard enough
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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