We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
