shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
