I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
