Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
