did you get engaged???
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
