Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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