hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
