No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
