I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
