He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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