id be glad to
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
