nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
