So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
