24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
