i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
