We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Success! We fucked roommates!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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