Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
