Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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