rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
how drunk are you?
Several
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
