I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She needs sedatives and a leash
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
