is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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