I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
