Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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