I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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