you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
