Kiss
Puke
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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