I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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