He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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