So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you traded sex for a burrito?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
