this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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