Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
