it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
