At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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