I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He told me they were just razor bumps!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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